Good Sex.

I've talked a lot on this blog about what's wrong with me and my marriage. Last night was very good -- it's only right to share.

Last night was good sexually. I'm a bit shy and will struggle with what to say. Yes, I've talked about my and even Maria's sexual issues. I'm still not totally used to it. Furthermore, I rarely tell anyone about specifics of our sex life. So I feel like I'm diving into the deep end of a freezing lake. Here goes ...

I've talked about how our sex life has tapered off. Maria being angry with me has really made me scared and sexually withdrawn. Furthermore Maria takes medicine that can make her tired and not very involved. That's not much of a turn on. Physically we've grown older and Maria has gained some weight. I'm not always physically attracted to her. She has also had some injuries and medical issues that cause her to not always feel up to doing anything. I too have grown older and thus lost some testosterone -- I just don't get as charged up as I used to.

Altogether this has often made me much less than excited about having sex with her. When we do hook up my "performance" has not always been up to snuff. It's often much easier to masturbate than have unknown, scary, unattractive, one-sided sex.

In the last few months, with Maria in her current therapy and we in counseling as a couple, there has been a lot less anger. That helps. I try to pay more attention to her. In the last couple of weeks she's been physically better. We've been together sexually more often. We are enjoying being together, sexually or otherwise, more.

Yesterday I was pretty charged up sexually. I found a link to Camilla's Erotic Archives (thanks Sonia). Several things there turned me on, but the German Camera Girl really lit my fire. Fuel was added to my fire by riding the bus to work next to a cute young coed, by a coworker whose top allowed me to see most of her breast, and by exercising at the gym near a woman with a beautiful face and an awesome figure. My bus ride home also was good -- I got to sit next to and talk with a sexy friend who was wearing a very low cut top.

When Maria and I went to bed I really wanted to have sex with her and make her happy. She was also very into it. I performed better than I have in a long while. We enjoyed each other more than we have in quite a while. It was very satisfying. Afterwards, as we both lay down, Maria was lying on her side, naked, turned away from me. I saw her as very sexy and attractive. I drifted into a happy sleep.

Nothing to Hide

Ovelle Pharmaceuticals, a skincare company based in the Republic of Ireland produced this commercial.



Their sales have gone up 500% as a result. I'm encouraged that there wasn't any backlash.

Well, sort of. YouTube removed the commercial because it was inappropriate. (The only working link I found is on a Spanish video site.) This wasn't done in the U.S. and nothing like will be for a long time -- think of all the flak Janet Jackson's breast caused. Will we ever loosen up here in the States?

I like the commercial because it uses nudity in context. They really make their point. I admit, seeing so many beautiful naked people working together, especially the women, is a turn on for me. It gets my sexual fires burning. But the commercial is not overtly sexual. It is about naturalness and freedom. That too turns me on. I think our world would be better if we all felt this kind of freedom.

Look and See

I found a new website that has pictures I like: Looknsee Photography. I also have a new link to it in my sidebar.

I like that the photographer tells us what he does. I think the models are beautiful and the photos very well done. The photographer is a software engineer like I am and I relate to the way he thinks. He seems to be about my age.

I am envious. I like photography, but am not nearly as into as he is. I have fantasized about photographing people, especially nude women. In this sense, he is living one of my fantasies. He seems to be able to interact well with his models. I often stumble and bumble around beautiful women. I've never been in the presence of an attractive nude woman except for my wife.

On the other hand, I don't know the rest of his life. He interacts with a beautiful nude models. It's all very professional. For me it would be very sexual. It would be wrong to violate the professional boundary, but I would want more. If that type of interaction were all I had in life it would be frustrating. (I'm not saying the Looknsee photographer has only this, I don't know. I'm just talking to my own fantasy.) I have a loving wife and family. We have problems and we are growing older. In many ways though, it is much better than being around lots of beautiful women that I could talk to but not touch. I'll keep my life and thank God for it.

I don't need to be envious. However, I think Looknsee will provide a lot of fuel for my wet dreams.