Good Sex.

I've talked a lot on this blog about what's wrong with me and my marriage. Last night was very good -- it's only right to share.

Last night was good sexually. I'm a bit shy and will struggle with what to say. Yes, I've talked about my and even Maria's sexual issues. I'm still not totally used to it. Furthermore, I rarely tell anyone about specifics of our sex life. So I feel like I'm diving into the deep end of a freezing lake. Here goes ...

I've talked about how our sex life has tapered off. Maria being angry with me has really made me scared and sexually withdrawn. Furthermore Maria takes medicine that can make her tired and not very involved. That's not much of a turn on. Physically we've grown older and Maria has gained some weight. I'm not always physically attracted to her. She has also had some injuries and medical issues that cause her to not always feel up to doing anything. I too have grown older and thus lost some testosterone -- I just don't get as charged up as I used to.

Altogether this has often made me much less than excited about having sex with her. When we do hook up my "performance" has not always been up to snuff. It's often much easier to masturbate than have unknown, scary, unattractive, one-sided sex.

In the last few months, with Maria in her current therapy and we in counseling as a couple, there has been a lot less anger. That helps. I try to pay more attention to her. In the last couple of weeks she's been physically better. We've been together sexually more often. We are enjoying being together, sexually or otherwise, more.

Yesterday I was pretty charged up sexually. I found a link to Camilla's Erotic Archives (thanks Sonia). Several things there turned me on, but the German Camera Girl really lit my fire. Fuel was added to my fire by riding the bus to work next to a cute young coed, by a coworker whose top allowed me to see most of her breast, and by exercising at the gym near a woman with a beautiful face and an awesome figure. My bus ride home also was good -- I got to sit next to and talk with a sexy friend who was wearing a very low cut top.

When Maria and I went to bed I really wanted to have sex with her and make her happy. She was also very into it. I performed better than I have in a long while. We enjoyed each other more than we have in quite a while. It was very satisfying. Afterwards, as we both lay down, Maria was lying on her side, naked, turned away from me. I saw her as very sexy and attractive. I drifted into a happy sleep.